Good Job

Some guy replaced all the sound effects in Half-Life 2 with his own voiced sound effects. Some of the sounds are hilarious like “pew pew pew” and “vrooom” and “bang bang” and “fwooosh” and “clank” and “bzzt” and so many more. I’m happy somebody some where in the world has way more free time than myself to create something as funnily useless as this. God bless the world.

Why I Think The Philippines Is The Best Country In The World

Remember that time when you heard the news that the country has achieved the title of being the “texting capital of the world” and felt tearfully proud about it? Me neither. Really more on the feeling tearfully proud part than on the remembering part. Because seriously, with all the media buzz about it you have to be living under a rock, in a cave, remotely on one of our 7100 islands while being a complete catatonic vegetable under the influence of either meth or Biogesic or both, to have missed that glorious day when news programs announced the Philippines’ Biggest Accomplishment since Rizal. It was a big deal, you get the picture.

I’ve never even been a fan of text messaging, not because I prefer calling, but mainly because I think it’s dumb. There was a time when I used to wake up to at least ten messages in my phone, 3 of them telling the same joke, 1 telling the same joke but with different characters, 2 being bitter love quotes, 2 being sweet love quotes, and the last 2 reminding me about Globe’s promos. It was the best wake up feeling in the world.

Well, it’s not a surprise because the Philippines is generally a dumb country (Oooh controversy!). Come on, sure we churn out probably 1 genius for every 100 babies born but the intellectual abilities of that genius baby gets nipped in the bud by overbearing parents way before he or she reaches puberty. Don’t get me wrong, I like this country as much as the next French tourist and all for the same reasons, too: the scenery. I only like the Philippines because it looks beautiful. That’s it. Would I die protecting our natural beauty? You bet! Would I die protecting the horde of ignorant bystanders I pass by on the street everyday? Only if they were really sexy. But I digress.

I came across a report on The New York Times saying that texting makes people dumb. I will now demonstrate the consequences of these findings on our country using simple n00b logic.

Texting = Dumb People.

Philippines = Texting Capital of the World.

Philippines = Dumb People Capital of the World.

“The act of texting automatically removes 10 I.Q. points,” said Paul Saffo, a technology trend forecaster in Silicon Valley. “The truth of the matter is there are hobbies that are incompatible. You don’t want to do mushroom-hunting and bird-watching at the same time, and it is the same with texting and other activities.”

What the hell happened? How did we become that Dumb Country? Well, between the government leading us on a downward spiral towards an abyss of rubble and a culture reinforced by promoting unoriginal imitating media, I think it’s a toss up, really. Okay, enough talking about the problem, let’s talk about a solution.

Let’s see, what can a person like me, a reasonably attractive twenty-something middle class semi-professional person, do to help solve this problem? I know, why not write a blog post about it? It’s what any other reasonably attractive twenty-something middle class semi-professional person would do too, right? I mean look at what good we’ve done the country so far. We have made the government turn their back against their ungodly and fairly stupid methods of governance. The world has been set right. No, wait, it hasn’t. Blogging protests over the Internet is pretty much the equivalent of trying to make ripples in a frozen pond. (Making this post a cross between hypocrisy and irony… Hyporony? Irocrisy? No good.)

Hmm so what other options do I have? Well if protesting over teh Internatz isn’t cutting it, the next possible way would be to go march through the streets in a rally. Yeah, it’s the first thing that came to my mind, too! It’s such a brilliant idea. I’m sure the government would be stirred if we make a paper mache likeness of PGMA and set it on fire in front of the Palace. I mean, it worked the last 342 times, didn’t it? No? It didn’t? Damn.

So can we just follow the media’s, my mother’s and the government’s method of solving problems, then? Yeah let’s just throw the blame around. It’s the Americans’ fault. It’s Erap’s fault. It’s the MILF’s fault. There, I feel much better. Don’t you? Everyone feels better after a good blame-game session. I guess that’s why we’re also one of the happiest people in the world. Ignorance is bliss. Uhh wait, wrong platitude. Philippines is bliss. Perfect.

Abandon Responsibility

Have you ever been to that point in your life when you think you just had too much. There’s so many things that need to be done you just wish you were a kid again when the bulk of your responsibilities was just playing with your toys and probably the occasional chore.
Well, I have. And after much thought I decided that the best possible way to approach this growing problem is to just get rid of it. Be reckless. Do whatever you want. Abandon responsibility.
Think about it. Without your responsibilities, you no longer need to worry about keeping a stable job to pay the rent or put food on the table. You no longer have to worry about gaining weight or losing weight. No more thoughts about deadlines, budgets, bills and all those other crap which do nothing but complicate your life. Quit your job! Squander your savings! Simplify life!
Lose all the stuff you thought you need like the television, the radio or the washing machine. Throw away your cellphone! Delete your Facebook and Yahoo accounts! Be the man that nature intended you to be, the hunter-gatherer kind of man which doesn’t worry about education, social responsibility, human rights or any other of those garbage!
Your responsibilities are only adding more weight to your increasingly tired and stressed out mind. Without responsibility there would be no problems, so abandon responsibility today!

Sonnet 1

Must I present myself in such a state
and brave your brightness with unworthy words?
Without effects, must I remain and wait?
Or seize the opportunity, converse?
What shame! I have not many glorious robes
to even match the glory of your skin!
No rings; no handkerchiefs as white as doves;
no thing to capture your attention in.
Except in one where my faith lies the most,
that which no man may dare to trespass on.
My wish, you take this measure that I boast:
my mind, the only treasure that I don.
And yet your eyes display only despair,
my heart and mind, they rend beyond repair.

I wrote this sonnet for a class and nearly forgotten it.

Luckily, a good friend of mine reminded me of it so now it’s here for all the world to see.

This is one of the first sonnets I ever wrote so tell me what you think.

The Showdown That Was Always Meant To Be

I think I’m old enough to know that sometimes, no matter how much we plan things to go a certain way, there’s always a chance that it won’t. There’s always something that gets in the general way of our plans. It could be some small overlooked detail in the preparation, an unexpected event that takes precedence over the current state of things, or it could be some drunk A-hole who decided to take a piss on your new pair of shoes, but whatever obstacle fate sends our way, I’ve also learned that nine times out of ten, there’s nothing we can do about it but accept it and find a way to get around it. I have looked forward to several things I planned for the past weekend and, as always, the disappointments were disappointing, the frustrations were frustrating, and my moods were supernaturally annoying.

My brother and I were supposed to have a one-on-one match last Sunday, the showdown that was always meant to be: Defense of the Ancients! I looked forward to it because I really thought my brother was good at the game and I was so excited that I can finally have someone to face me besides the usual AI, which after several weeks gets so predictable and boring. So anyway, three hours, four rounds, and thirty-three embarrassing losses later, I got bored because my brother turned to be such a weakling. I thought when I finally faced my brother on a DotA battle, it’d be exciting. Oh well, Mai was right, victory is boring.

Meanwhile, the little girl I’ve been tutoring at Math came by while my brother and I were out playing at some computer shop deep in the heart of Dasmariñas. I didn’t think she’d come over because it was a Sunday night. Apparently she did, and so I missed her. She’ll be back tomorrow, I know she will. Besides, when I agreed to her mother when she asked me to tutor her at Math I didn’t give guarantees about my schedule. My conscience is clear.

By the way, I think I need to share this abysmal Math textbook that little girl has. She’s eleven years old and she’s studying in one of those mushrooming private schools all over the rural world. I’m helping her with fractions and when I took a look at the book the school issued her, I thought it was as helpful as a spoon for slicing. The instructions were plainly too confusing for any eleven year old to understand. It was like, “In dividing fractions in mixed form, we take the whole number and divide it by the other number from the dividend. The quotient should be equal to the product of the divisor’s numerators and the reciprocal of the dividend’s denominator… etc.” Ever get this feeling that its textbooks like these which make studying so goddamn fun? Me neither. No wonder, Filipino children are getting dumber and dumberer every year. It’s so ironic that the textbook which was supposed to make a kid smarter is making the same kid feel a hell of a lot dumber. And the blame goes to the scholars who write these books as testament to their scholarly scholarliness, instead of as tools to help un-scholars make it through a single day at school learning something new. I forgot the name of the author and the publisher but don’t worry, I’ll put it up next post so you guys can stay away from it, or burn it, whatever you think is fitting for garbage like that.

Those scholars are the reason why I don’t ever want to be successful. At least not in the way most people view how success should be. I just want to find something that I enjoy doing. You know that old saying that goes, find a job you enjoy doing and you’ll never work a day in your life? I’m really betting all my luck on that. Unfortunately, I had to cancel my job-finding expedition the next day because when I called Shenna in the morning, she was sick like I was. She has had a cold which was turning to be a really severe cough and she just couldn’t make it. That was a little bit disappointing, because I was really looking forward to it. I even printed my resume on scented paper and everything! (Not.) And to top it all off, yesterday, my mother and my sister went to Cainta for a visit and when they got home they brought with them some of the stuff I left there except one. You guessed it, they didn’t bring my Superman shirt with them.

Disappointments add flavor to life. Without them, life would be fast filled with people’s success stories, it’s going to be nauseating. So hooray for disappointments and keep on reading for more on My Life in Exile.

“A Plague On Cinema Houses.”

From the recent outbreak of digital movies in the Filipino film industry, I would say that “indie” (short for independent cinema) is slowly becoming a staple for the common Pinoy film fanatic’s appetite. Maybe they’ve just grown tired of the slapstick comedies and teenybopper romances that big film studios in the country produce almost every other month but whatever the reason is, independent cinema is getting tougher and tougher to ignore, not that we want to of course. So is “indie” the new mainstream?

Independent films are so named because they are produced independently by independent filmmakers with their own independent equipment and their own independent budgets. Independently, the growing population of independent film lovers are developing independent opinions about their independent passion. I think that’s enough independence. Yes, we are getting overwhelmed by their massive turnout every year but who can deny the bold and fresh styles of storytelling that’s just so different from the tired old garbage we get from the competition! Not to mention most of them are just soft porn in disguise.

The problem with crowd mentality is that Filipinos are so fond of it. Show them something witty and different and they’ll jump at it like politicians at money. Then everyone would want to be witty and different and when everyone is witty and different, everyone becomes the same. It’s the same thing with fads, that’s why I think they’re useless. We should learn from the independent philosophy. They’re trying to promote not jumping in on the old bandwagon. They’re trying to make a new bandwagon for themselves. It’s okay to be a fan, there’s no shame in admitting admiration but plain imitation is just pathetic and not really flattering. The sad thing is, I think independent filmmaking is becoming more and more of a fad and less of a super cool totally fresh new Filipino art movement. I mean, come on. Let me put it this way, will someone bet against me if I say that in the next twenty indie films that would come out, there wouldn’t be anything about a gay guy coming to age? Anyone?

The storytelling is different but the stories are slowly revealing a pattern like the Hollywood curse. They’re becoming predictable and I especially dislike going to the cinema and getting that all too familiar feeling like I think I’ve seen the movie before. I’m an ass and I don’t have faith in the new breed of independent filmmakers our culture is creating, so make your fantastic egos work and prove this ass wrong. How?

Surprise me.

Analytic Geometry For Toddlers

Let me preface this by saying that my IQ is 143 and as a child I was kind of a bigshot with most of the adults in my life because of this genius status. I don’t want to brag but it’s all true and completely relevant with what I have to talk about. I’m 100% sure that all parents in the country have this desire to have a super smart son or daughter and the lengths that we go through to achieve this desire is evident from the various products and programs that are supposed to enhance mental ability even in unborn children. There are Mozart records for pregnant women, milk products that beat steroids in chemical content, books entitled ‘Analytic Geometry for Toddlers’, and sperm banks boasting swimmer specimen from Hawking. Okay the last two are fake, but you get the point?

In a previous post, I mentioned a Grade Five (I can say Fifth Grade, but where’s the Filipino-ness in that?) Math textbook discussing fractions in a ridiculously confusing manner. I’m a college senior and I didn’t get the explanation the first time I read it, what chance could an eleven year-old have? Anyway, I found out who the authors were: Adela C. Villamayor and Amelia D. Celeridad – Wright. They were supposedly bigshots in the academic world and there’s a tradition, a kind of rite of passage, among academic bigshots to write a textbook at least once in your life/career. I’m sure that was their intention in writing Math for Life 5, if their real intention was for the benefit of young learners everywhere, they would’ve done a better job than the garbage they published. But I ramble.

Parents put a lot of effort into making sure that their children got what they deserve, as long as it fits their budgets. When asked why they’re sending their children to an advanced preschool classroom, they invoke the age-old parental excuse, “We just want the best for our children.” What about what their kids want? Did they even consider that? The world is a horrible place to live in and making sure that your kid is smart enough to figure this harsh fact at a very young age is the most cruel thing a parent can do to their child. I know I wouldn’t do that to my hypothetical future son/daughter. I saw this documentary in QTV once entitled, “Growing Up Gifted” and it was very informative about the topic. Unfortunately, it didn’t show the downside of being an insufferable know-it-all.

The world is a horrible place to live in and making sure that your kid is smart enough to figure this harsh fact at a very young age is the most cruel thing a parent can do to their child.

Firstly, decision making gets really hard because knowing a lot doesn’t always mean that you get to make the best decisions in life. If you’re deciding between two really close choices, you’d really twist your brains to figure out which one you really want. If you chose Option A, you know exactly what you’re getting and what you’re not getting. You’d feel fine about your choice but then there’s a part of you that’s going to kill your soul slowly for not knowing what it would be like had you chosen Option B.

Then there’s the endless paranoia that creeps into your waking thoughts about the things you know and how it affects yourself and other people in their daily lives. And when you’re in some sort of trouble, this paranoia is magnified into colossal proportions because you’ve figured out exactly what’s waiting for you on the other side before you can even open the door to face it. Ultimately, you’d get chronic episodes of severe depression because of this and you’d be technically disabled for the rest of the said episode’s duration.

Then there’s the constant irritation you’d feel towards the stupider people around you day in and day out. You’d feel annoyed at your boss for making a very stupid decision that you know would lead your officemates and yourself into some sort of predicament, and then afterwards you’d beat yourself up for it because there was absolutely nothing you could’ve done to stop it. Or you’d feel annoyed at your friends for always making the same mistakes over and over again despite the fact that you’ve already given them sound advice about it several times in the past. Or you’d feel annoyed at your family whenever they get the urge to do embarrassing stuff in public especially when you’re with them.

For the parents out there who want a genius baby, I suggest you reconsider your wishes. If you ask me, it’s better to have a hardworking child than a smart one. But who am I, right? I’m just a self-proclaimed genius who sees too far ahead for his own good.

It’s A Language For The Hopeful

As you all know, I’m currently in self-exile and one of the things that I hoped to accomplish during this extended me-time is to learn a new language all by myself! I looked at different languages from around the world and tried to figure out which ones I can really get around to using. As of this moment, I’m pretty fluent in Filipino (Tagalog) and English with a little bit of Spanish, a combination that’s not entirely rare in the Philippines. I considered French but it’s too fancy for my taste. German is too harsh sounding, at least to me it is. Chinese and Japanese both involve studying a completely new and different alphabet and that doesn’t look too inviting. Besides, even if I do study a single language I’ll only be able to use it if I go to its place of origin and that’s not really practical unless I want to make a career out of being a linguist. So I needed a language that I can use anywhere in the world. That was when I discovered Esperanto.

If we all study Esperanto as a second language, people from different countries can speak in equal footing because we’re all using a language that is of second nature to all participants.

In 1887, a hopeful Dr. Ludwig L. Zamenhof, under the pseudonym Doktoro Esperanto (Dr. Esperanto), put together the “artificial” language Esperanto in his book entitled Unua Libro. Esperanto, which means ‘one who hopes’, hopes to be the first auxiliary language of the world. What the hell is an auxiliary language, you ask? Say, for example, you saved enough money to finally quit your job and go to that backpacking trip across Europe you’ve always daydreamed about. In preparation for this lifelong dream, you studied French, Spanish, Greek, Italian, German, Portuguese, Romanian, Swedish, Norwegian, Russian, and Polish because you wanted to be able to speak well with the people of the countries in your itinerary, and maybe because you were just so obsessive-compulsive. Now imagine if there was just one language that you can study and still communicate well with the different peoples of the world. Just one language? Hell yeah, sign me up now! That was the idea behind the formulation of Esperanto. No, the backpacking trip wasn’t part of it, but the concept of an international language was. If we all study Esperanto as a second language, people from different countries can speak in equal footing because we’re all using a language that is of second nature to all participants.

So anyway, I discovered this little tutoring website which offers an email correspondence with a certified Esperanto speaker. After you sign up for the course, you will be assigned a “tutor” who will help you with general stuff and answer some of the questions you have that isn’t on the course. At the end of each lesson, there are exercises which you have to answer and then email the answers to your “tutor” who will then check if you got them correctly. They’re just basic courses but the website also offers advanced courses for those who already has some background in speaking Esperanto. After the ten lessons, you get to print out this cute little certificate which means you have completed the course. Then you can give yourself a nice pat on the back and continue on to the advanced courses.

Why is this important? Besides the noble objective Esperanto has since its inception, I also plan to use it as the official language of an underground anarchist society in the novel that I’m writing. Esperanto was formed with hopes that someday the world would be united enough to speak one language and this cool motive definitely qualifies Esperanto as a Rocket Powered Stuff. Kudos to Dr. Zamenhof a.k.a. Dr. Esperanto and continue reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world.

Global Crisis Propaganda?

I saw Winnie Monsod’s segment last night on News on Q about the impending mass lay off on OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) due to the economic crisis the world is currently experiencing. Personally, I thought her views were very hard to believe and somewhat propaganda-ish.

First off, she assured us that 80% of the total OFWs are working in Asia and that Asia is actually doing well in spite of the global financial crunch. China and Japan were unlikely to be greatly affected by this crisis and so Filipino employees in those countries were relatively safe, compared to those who are working for the US or UK. Also, the Middle East, she reports, were showing promising signs of continuous growth and, consequently, our workers there have nothing to worry about. Well, I’ll believe that when my father, who’s employed in Saudi Arabia, finally reassures us that he is safe in his job. There have been rumors in his company of a mass lay off and he’s worried he might be one of those to be let go. This is just like the government to tell the people everything is okay when clearly there are certain things that we need to look forward to and prepare for.

Serbisyong Totoo better begin telling the very real danger OFW families are facing or they’re going to be in for the surprise of their lives.

Next, she also reported that, in case she was incorrect in her predictions, the Department of Overseas Labor and Employment (DOLE) is more than prepared to handle the re-integration of workers who could face the chopping block back into the foreign job fair. She told us that there are thousands of other employment opportunities abroad that the DOLE can dole out for those who were sent back to the motherland. I had to temporarily change the channel because I just couldn’t handle all the bullshit I was being fed but I promptly put her back on again because I was curious to learn more.

Her most disturbing observation of all, the one that led me to doubt her PhD, was when she said Filipinos (just Filipinos), in particular, have high chances of retention with their jobs because of the “malasakit” (compassion) we constantly show our employers. Well it sure makes for a hard decision whether to fire Juan dela Cruz or not especially since he’s so nice to everybody. Screw the global crisis. I am keeping this pleasant employee and I’m replacing everyone with robots who doesn’t form unions and doesn’t demand a raise all the time.

In the face of the economic dilemma the world is facing, how could she possibly think that compassion would play a vital role in the OFW’s struggle to keep his or her job? The entire segment reeks of government propaganda to prevent massive panic amongst the millions of families whose dinners and lifestyles depend on a relative working abroad. I’m going to give Mareng Winnie a chance, though, because I like her. But Serbisyong Totoo better begin telling the very real danger OFW families are facing or they’re going to be in for the surprise of their lives.

Behold The Face of The Revolution

Around two years ago, I became fascinated with graphics design and I was lucky enough to happen upon an online PDF magazine, which at the time can be considered a mere start-up, showcasing graphic design talents from around the world. RevolutionArt has gone a long way ever since and now, following the release of their 15^th issue, Dreams, I’m happy to report that Nelson Medina, the man behind RevolutionArt, have expanded the magazine to include models and music as well.

Maybe some designs are not professional, but some ideas are born with strong passion and conviction. That’s the real value.

“The idea comes from many trips looking for inspiration. Initially the idea was conceived to show creative works oriented to advertisement. But the actual shape was led by the people’s participation,” explains Nelson Medina in my e-mail interview with him. “Revolutionart is a link between different sources of inventiveness and a path for many artists to show their works.”

The magazine is open to all artists who has a passion towards the visual arts and is looking for free avenues for exposure. Contributions come from artists from around the world, from Indonesia to Great Britain, and from Japan to Argentina.

“Maybe some designs are not professional, but some ideas are born with strong passion and conviction. That’s the real value,” Medina further explains. “Some of the recurrent feelings of the people are disappointment about society. I think they feel oppressed and that’s why Revolutionart touches many subjects to free their thoughts about global issues. It’s great to give some control to change the ‘shallow world’ and impose ‘revolutionary’ concepts… make the people think from a new sight.”

Revolutionart magazine is available for download on their website here once every two months. They usually hold a theme for all the graphics displayed ranging from Politics (Issue #13) to Music, Peace and Love (Issue #5). Currently, the magazine boasts 70,000 subscribers to each edition, majority of which are Europeans and South Americans. The magazine charges nothing for advertisers who wish to put their ads in it, as long as they fit the artistic nature of the rest of the content. Converse, among many others, currently uses the revolutionary platform.

I’m impressed with the results and I love what Revolutionart is by now.

“There are many projects in the future for Revolutionart,” says Medina about the magazine’s future. “We’re thinking to develop different brands to make design related services and products. Specially to create a world of imagination, perfect for dreamers.” He also admits that the magazine is open for major changes as long as the meaning of the revolution remains. “I think about myself as a re-builder or a transformer. If I sell Revolutionart, I could make a new one with the team (with more money), new brand, new face but with the same spirit. That spirit can’t be sold.”

Revolutionart’s next issue will be out by January of next year with the timely theme, Global Crisis. If you want to submit your graphic design work, your painting, your photograph, your band, yourself or anything you want to share under the idea Global Crisis, the deadline to make the January issue is on December 15, 2008. More information is available on their website here.

“Real changes are made of disruption, reconstruction, anarchy and self questioning. I’m working on that…” Nelson Medina have worked for corporate advertisers before and have searched for more inspiration. He is currently in Uruguay. “I’m impressed with the results and I love what Revolutionart is by now.”

Now be sure to download RevolutionArt’s current issue, Dreams, and continue reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

Panic! Near the Disco

Every once in a while I still go into this emo (short for emotive or super ultra emotive) state which gets me in the mood for songs which sing about how horribly depressing life is. It doesn’t linger. Not since I discovered some new bands whose songs greatly redefine emo. The lyrics are a long way from optimistic but their riffs and hooks and their overall music are generally just too catchy and upbeat. I don’t know what works for you but to me, it’s a good way to get out of my sad and sorry emo-ness and go happy hardcore for the rest of the day.

While Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the Disco’s songs are great for this purpose, let me introduce you to their fellow label-mate and equally rocking band: The Academy Is… (no seriously the ellipsis is part of their band’s name and not my emo way of ending sentences). I like them because their songs are catchy, that’s it. End of story. I don’t care about how they can really capture the true meaning of heartbreak or how you can really feel the anguish in their lyrics, personally I think being sad is a choice and I hate being sad so I choose not to be. Now, anger, as destructive as it may be, gets results better than being perky or morose and I consider it a way to move things along, you know, shake things up a little bit. But I’m talking about The Academy Is… and not about how ridiculous it is to be emo so let’s move on.

If you like the musical stylings of Fall Out Boy or the borderline histrionic vocals of Panic! At the Disco, then I recommend The Academy Is… which is basically a combination of both. I once saw this online forum that compared FOB, P!ATD, Paramore and some other emo band with TAI. The verdict was unclear but who cares? To me their music takes me away from being sad and that’s a good thing. I think the reason why these bands write and sing these songs about love, loss and hate is so you, the listener, won’t have to. Just listening to them release is a kind of release for you too. So it’s therapeutic in a way.

Anyway, they don’t really fit the qualifications to be considered Rocket Powered Stuff. Actually, this is more of an FYI for those out there who are tired of girls pants and black nail polish and are really desperate to get their greasy hair out of their face. You should try out these bands and wear something happy tomorrow. It’s not the end of the world so continue living and reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

Sudden Adult Death Syndrome

My father brought a huge collection of DVDs when he made his yearly home visit last month and I’ve been spending a huge deal of time trying to see them all. One of the films I saw last weekend was the first Final Destination. If you still haven’t seen it, you should. It’s no Spielberg or Scorsese but it’s still pretty okay. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this movie actually made me think about death. It’s a grim thought I know, but it’s something no medical breakthrough can save us from; like that old saying about death being the “debt that all men pay”. Well, my thoughts aren’t exactly about how if you cheat death, it will come after you in every possible way. This kind of personifies death as a being who has a job to do and will do it no matter how clever or lucky you are, which is obviously untrue.

“The only thing I haven’t done yet is die.“

Anyway, thinking about how short your life is makes you realize the numerous things that you know you can’t possibly accomplish in a lifetime. You can look at this several ways. You can be pessimistic and be all emo about it OR you can actually try to prioritize the things which are most important to you and try to do it all before your time runs out. It doesn’t matter how mundane or monumental your life’s ambitions are, I believe that if you’re really convinced about them, you will accomplish them, despite the things (or people) that will try and get in your way. So here are a few of the things that I want to do at least once before I die:

1. Save a life.

2. Meet my soul-mate.

3. Go on an adventure.

4. Serve my country.

5. Skydive.

The fifth one is really just out of curiosity. I know I want to do a lot more things like “travel the world”, “get rich” and other generic ambitions, too, but these five are the only things that I need to do before I can happily say that the only thing I haven’t done yet is die, like Fall Out Boy.

Just to give you an idea how quickly life can end, go learn something about SADS or Sudden Adult Death Syndrome, where a fit and young person is known to die instantly for no apparent reason. It’s very real and very true. If there’s such a medical condition as SADS, hell, I think I better get started with my list before I literally drop dead.

So what about you? What are things that you really want to do before you bite the dust? Whatever it is, you better get going and continue reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from beyond the grave. Or around the world. Whatever works.

Anathe-Money

This week has been all about money. My family had money problems. I discovered I’ve ran out of money. Even the Desperate Housewives episode is all about money. So with all the hints the universe have been clearly dropping, I’ve decided to finally write a post about money, which in and of itself can be considered the honor of being Rocket Powered Stuff, simply because money is so awesome.

I’m going go to go ahead and assume that you would be lying if you said you didn’t need money. Everyone needs money. The only people who I think is really detached from money are bushmen from Africa or really obscure hill tribes in Central Asia, but even they have some sort of standard of exchange of goods, which I guess can still be considered money. Even rich people need money, they just don’t notice it because they’ve got plenty (jerks). The thing about it is it’s usually a taboo topic.

People don’t go around discussing how much money they have or how much money they can make. While I think Filipinos are tactless about certain stuff like commenting about how fat you’ve gotten as casual as if it wouldn’t hurt feelings, they’re still a bit awkward about discussing money with each other. I think it’ll be more acceptable to admit you’re a flaming homo than to talk about money with your friends. It seems like it’s a readily avoided topic, which is totally bullshit since it’s probably the root of all their problems. They’ll make time to discuss useless television celebrities, but they’ll get really awkward if you ask them how much they’re making in their job. I just don’t get it.

I think we should openly talk about money more. I mean we talk openly about sex all the time, why can’t we talk about something that’s actually relevant like money.

My father called us (via Skype, thank you Internet technology) and told us he received an email telling him that somebody saw my grandmother (his mother) walking to the market place. The email reported that when asked why she was walking, my grandmother would answer she didn’t have fare money. It was incredibly disturbing. Before I decided to exile myself in Cavite, I lived with my grandparents in Cainta and I love them so much. I never knew that things were getting financially bad until my father received the email. My grandmother could’ve asked for money from me, I wouldn’t have minded. I’m a single guy and the only contents of my budget are my meals, my laundry and my electric bill (and the occasional movie) and those aren’t really much. I hate the fact that my grandmother couldn’t have saved herself all the money troubles by asking me for some help. She’s MY grandmother! Of course, I’d help her.

I think we should openly talk about money more. I mean we talk openly about sex all the time, why can’t we talk about something that’s actually relevant (and, honestly, more interesting) like money. We all know money is important and that we shouldn’t let it control our lives, I’m not going to elaborate examples discussing that. All I’m saying is that we should be more open about money, our feelings about it, our troubles with it and basically, just how much we sometimes need it.

So clear your convos of useless gossip and talk about money more, and continue reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

Regina “Redge” Valenzuela

I haven’t seen Cinema in a long time and I was excited about going to Marj’s shoot, helping out and everything like old times. But things have clearly changed. Although I’m sure I’ll continue being friends with some of them, I don’t think I’ll ever work with any of them again.

I didn’t bug anybody during the shoot. I did what I was supposed to do as part of the production design team. I stayed out of the way on things I don’t know anything about. That was the start. My mood changed on the opening billboard shot. Everything was going well then we took a short break. Jed approached me about the problem with the Barangay permit we were talking about earlier, and I volunteered to help her. Next thing I knew, Razor-edge Redge was yelling my name across the set and accusing me of being a cause of delay. My mind went, “Motherfucker.” Well, she was the Assistant Director, so I understand it’s her responsibility to be annoying but she’s just so exceptionally good at it. I know it’s very unfair to judge her because she’s probably tired from being an asshole on other shoots so I just reminded myself that I was there to help Marj and that Redge was just the occasional bitch you have to deal with maturely sometimes, so I didn’t mind it and went back to work with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Then, I remembered I have to tell my mother I won’t be coming home that night because the shoot will extend up to early next morning. Unfortunately, my phone’s battery was dead so I had to find a charger. I already found a place where I could charge up. At the back of the set, there was a socket where another crew member’s phone was plugged. That was 5:30pm. I went back there and unplugged it at 8:45pm honestly thinking that its battery is probably full now, after all it’s been more than three hours. So I happily charged my phone so I can finally check messages and send a text to my mother. Two minutes later, I came back to the socket only to find that my phone had been kicked out and the other phone was plugged in again. I didn’t know the name of the motherfucker who owned the Motorola phone. I just know that he’s the asshole taking stills for the shoot. But he topped up the thrilling events of my night so A.D. Redge, I respectfully ask you to eat your fucking heart out.

Gosh, I wonder how difficult it is to carry around a clipboard and yell orders at everyone as opposed to, say, carry a sixty-kilo wooden cabinet up two flights of stairs!

Several sequences and takes later, PMS-Mode Assistant Director Redge wasn’t about to let the asswipe who took still photographs out-bitch her, so she decided to snap at me again. I admit, last time was totally my fault. I shouldn’t have helped Jed. I mean, gosh, why would I try to be helpful in a night full of stressful work? Why wasn’t I following Miss Redge’s exemplary grace and just be a bitch about it? I’m sure showing the hard working people around you how much you don’t appreciate them helps out a lot to boost their morale. We were doing the dining room scene and I snuck in quietly from the back to catch a glimpse of the climactic drama. Suddenly, Redge yelled angrily/normally at me, “GID, WAG KA GAGALAW!”. If I had a burning cigarette at hand, I swear I would’ve flicked it angrily/normally at her.

After that, I just pretty much stayed out of everyone’s way. I wouldn’t want to give Troll Queen Regina Regla a reason to find more faults. I was so good at what I was doing that when I was ordered to do something, I can casually say, “No.” But don’t worry, I wasn’t wasting any of the shoot’s budget. I didn’t take anything from the set after Redge have clearly showed me I’m dead weight.

I didn’t make a scene at the shoot because it was Marj’s shoot and I know she worked hard for it. The least I could do was show her respect and refrain from adding more worries to her already insurmountable level of stress. Besides, my role wasn’t exactly that big. I’m just part of the production design team, a crew from the art department, an anonymous cog. Compared to, say for example, the Assistant Director, my part is definitely trivial. What could I possibly contribute to the shoot except do heavy lifting and other manual labor? And what is the Assistant Director’s role? Let’s see, he or she helps out the director. Something that nobody else can do. Gosh, I wonder how difficult it is to carry around a clipboard and yell orders at everyone as opposed to, say, carry a sixty-kilo wooden cabinet up two flights of stairs!

I’m so glad I attended the shoot.

For My Birthday…

Here’s a recap of my life so far…

It all started while I was threshing some wheat in the backyard when I realized somebody was watching me all the time. He introduced himself as an angel of the Lord and told me I needed to free my people from the foreigners who were trespassing in our lands. So I gathered 300 men, fought the invading Midianites and cleverly defeated them.

Afterwards, I was considered a Master Artist and Sculptor of 20^th and 21^st Centuries, covering a broad spectrum of genres including Abstract, Impressionism, Modernistic, Portraits and Sculpture. I created almost 20,000 pieces of work, plus my world famous masterpieces, the Gideon Holocaust Collection which I did during most parts of the 1940’s.

Then I spent some time in New York. I got pretty bored with my life so I decided to attend the Massachusetts Institute of Technology where I earned my BSME back in 1956. I also took my master’s degree course from the Sloan School of Management, also in MIT. I became the CEO and Chairman of the Gartner Group from 1979 to 1991. After, I raised up to $15 million in several tranches to fund a new and innovative group I called the GiGa Information Group in 1995. The group was so successful I was able to generate profits from 0 to $65 million in a matter of four years.

Life being rich soon became tiring so I went out and ventured in the realm of medicine where I became so successful, they named a medical platform after me, the Global Infectious Diseases Epidemiology Network or GIDEON for short. As of 2005, I was able to catalog up to 300 infectious diseases and 250 vaccines for use in the world.

That was when I realized I was immortal and a part of special form of mutants called the Externals and the adventure continues…

The Guy I Want to Be Someday

The best video you’ll see today.

Watch at least more than one minute. He’s my new idol. He’s definitely Rocket Powered!