ROCKET POWERED STUFF

The Hangman

Posted in Rocket Powered Stuff by Rocket Boy Gid on March 18, 2010

This is a poem by Maurice Ogden that really spoke to me:

THE HANGMAN

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame,
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And he built his frame on the courthouse square.

The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide,
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.

And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime,
The Hangman judged with the yellow twist
Of knotted hemp in his busy fist.

(more…)

Smash It Up Quickly!: Porn Detection Device

Posted in Rocket Powered Stuff by Rocket Boy Gid on March 4, 2010

Bad news for p0rn people.

More reason to stop browsing p0rn while you’re at work: Introducing Paraben’s new device, the Porn Detection Stick.

What does it do?

Let’s see. It’s a USB drive with the words “Porn Detection Stick” written on its side, so it’s probably NOT for detecting p0rn. Go ahead, continue looking at those nude pictures – I got your back on this.

Paraben’s Porn Detection Stick is a robust illicit image detection device designed to protect your family, business or organization.

Big Brother employers are probably the worst types of employers there are, but imagine having someone at home use this on your computer. There goes my Best Sunday School Teacher Award. Stupid Bang Bus pictures accidentally copy-pasting themselves into an inconspicously hidden folder named Rocket Powered Stuff! IT WAS FOR RESEARCH, MOM!

It’s very effective so you better be careful with those key-“strokes” and keep on reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

A Big Woot For Global Warming Skeptics

Posted in Rocket Powered Stuff by Rocket Boy Gid on December 3, 2009

Have you ever seen ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ by Al Gore? One of my professors back in film school made me watch it and I have to admit it was pretty convincing. Yeah, if you’re a stupid narrow-minded idiot who jumps at conclusions based on second-hand information! Ha!

Last November, the UK’s top climate research facility, the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit was breached by an unknown identity where tons of information including e-mails and documents were leaked onto the Internet exposing possible corruption of AGW (Anthropogenic Global Warming) data. Apparently, the earth is not warming up. It’s actually cooling down and so the brilliant scientists at CRU decided to do a little “trick” to meddle with the findings a little bit in order to maintain the current global warming hysteria.

Excerpt from one of the e-mails: “I’ve just completed Mike’s Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (ie from 1981 onwards) amd from 1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline.”

Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that humans and their CO2 emissions are not causing climate change, therefore the whole idea of AGW is a massive lie. Here’s the thing: as far as I’m concerned, climate change is a natural phenomenon. In case you haven’t noticed, the climate is always changing and therefore reducing our carbon footprint because of it is big bag of bullshit. So why do the Western overlords want the whole world to believe this whole ‘man-made’ global warming agenda? And how the hell does this issue affect ordinary people like you and I?

Cute polar bear makes my head explode!

Image from climateprogress.org

There’s a lot of possible motives, actually, although I don’t want to discuss those. I only want to discuss why this issue matters (if at all) to us.

Firstly, the people who live in highly developed countries, i.e. the First World, all seem to advocate AGW and the ‘going green’ movement. A lot of corporations have invested millions in reducing their carbon emissions and an entire industry was built around it. In fact, these same countries, with the help of the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), have restricted the less developed countries of the world to use industries which might worsen global warming. In simpler terms, the First World is preventing the Third World from achieving any industrialization and progress all for the sake of environmental awareness.

Well, I’m being unfair. The First World isn’t really preventing progress in the Third World. In fact, they’re all for it, I think. That’s why they want these poor countries to use renewable sources of energy to fuel their operations instead. The cruelty arises from the fact that renewable energy like solar and wind power are very expensive. So basically, they’re telling dirt-poor people that they can’t have electricity unless they buy expensive and unreliable technology. So they’re not 100% cruel. They’re probably just 90% cruel. You know what, thinking about how people in Africa are dying in hospitals because medical equipment cannot function without electricity, I think it’s more like 98% cruel. So yeah.

Secondly, I just hate the fact that science have been corrupted by politics to the extent that they’ve resorted to falsifying, modifying and generally manipulating observed data. Science is the only thing I believe in and now I’m finding out it does not really transcend politics. It’s just so disillusioning. Anyway, moving on…

I’m not saying you guys should now start “lootin’ and pollutin’” (obscure cartoon reference ftw) just because global warming is a hoax. We should still take care of our environment. All I’m saying is that we shouldn’t hinder other people’s lives just because a bunch of whales or polar bears are dying. Last time I checked, human life is more valuable than any of those endangered species combined.

In conclusion, global warming is real. It happens. The earth heats up. It’s all natural. But thinking that humans are behind it and that we should then let the rest of the world live a Stone Age-esque existence because of this belief means you’re a Nazi and you deserve a horrible, painful and slow death. Not convinced? Google “climategate”.

I wonder how Richard Gutierrez, Mr. I’m-the-Philippine-Environmental-Champion, would comment about this. Meh, what does it matter? He’s just a pretty face reading from an idiot board.

AGW is not cool, but you definitely are, so learn more facts first before making any judgment, and continue reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

Regina “Redge” Valenzuela

Posted in My Life in Exile by Rocket Boy Gid on March 15, 2009

I haven’t seen Cinema in a long time and I was excited about going to Marj’s shoot, helping out and everything like old times. But things have clearly changed. Although I’m sure I’ll continue being friends with some of them, I don’t think I’ll ever work with any of them again.

I didn’t bug anybody during the shoot. I did what I was supposed to do as part of the production design team. I stayed out of the way on things I don’t know anything about. That was the start. My mood changed on the opening billboard shot. Everything was going well then we took a short break. Jed approached me about the problem with the Barangay permit we were talking about earlier, and I volunteered to help her. Next thing I knew, Razor-edge Redge was yelling my name across the set and accusing me of being a cause of delay. My mind went, “Motherfucker.” Well, she was the Assistant Director, so I understand it’s her responsibility to be annoying but she’s just so exceptionally good at it. I know it’s very unfair to judge her because she’s probably tired from being an asshole on other shoots so I just reminded myself that I was there to help Marj and that Redge was just the occasional bitch you have to deal with maturely sometimes, so I didn’t mind it and went back to work with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Then, I remembered I have to tell my mother I won’t be coming home that night because the shoot will extend up to early next morning. Unfortunately, my phone’s battery was dead so I had to find a charger. I already found a place where I could charge up. At the back of the set, there was a socket where another crew member’s phone was plugged. That was 5:30pm. I went back there and unplugged it at 8:45pm honestly thinking that its battery is probably full now, after all it’s been more than three hours. So I happily charged my phone so I can finally check messages and send a text to my mother. Two minutes later, I came back to the socket only to find that my phone had been kicked out and the other phone was plugged in again. I didn’t know the name of the motherfucker who owned the Motorola phone. I just know that he’s the asshole taking stills for the shoot. But he topped up the thrilling events of my night so A.D. Redge, I respectfully ask you to eat your fucking heart out.

Gosh, I wonder how difficult it is to carry around a clipboard and yell orders at everyone as opposed to, say, carry a sixty-kilo wooden cabinet up two flights of stairs!

Several sequences and takes later, PMS-Mode Assistant Director Redge wasn’t about to let the asswipe who took still photographs out-bitch her, so she decided to snap at me again. I admit, last time was totally my fault. I shouldn’t have helped Jed. I mean, gosh, why would I try to be helpful in a night full of stressful work? Why wasn’t I following Miss Redge’s exemplary grace and just be a bitch about it? I’m sure showing the hard working people around you how much you don’t appreciate them helps out a lot to boost their morale. We were doing the dining room scene and I snuck in quietly from the back to catch a glimpse of the climactic drama. Suddenly, Redge yelled angrily/normally at me, “GID, WAG KA GAGALAW!”. If I had a burning cigarette at hand, I swear I would’ve flicked it angrily/normally at her.

After that, I just pretty much stayed out of everyone’s way. I wouldn’t want to give Troll Queen Regina Regla a reason to find more faults. I was so good at what I was doing that when I was ordered to do something, I can casually say, “No.” But don’t worry, I wasn’t wasting any of the shoot’s budget. I didn’t take anything from the set after Redge have clearly showed me I’m dead weight.

I didn’t make a scene at the shoot because it was Marj’s shoot and I know she worked hard for it. The least I could do was show her respect and refrain from adding more worries to her already insurmountable level of stress. Besides, my role wasn’t exactly that big. I’m just part of the production design team, a crew from the art department, an anonymous cog. Compared to, say for example, the Assistant Director, my part is definitely trivial. What could I possibly contribute to the shoot except do heavy lifting and other manual labor? And what is the Assistant Director’s role? Let’s see, he or she helps out the director. Something that nobody else can do. Gosh, I wonder how difficult it is to carry around a clipboard and yell orders at everyone as opposed to, say, carry a sixty-kilo wooden cabinet up two flights of stairs!

I’m so glad I attended the shoot.

Analytic Geometry For Toddlers

Posted in My Views in Exile by Rocket Boy Gid on November 21, 2008

Let me preface this by saying that my IQ is 143 and as a child I was kind of a bigshot with most of the adults in my life because of this genius status. I don’t want to brag but it’s all true and completely relevant with what I have to talk about. I’m 100% sure that all parents in the country have this desire to have a super smart son or daughter and the lengths that we go through to achieve this desire is evident from the various products and programs that are supposed to enhance mental ability even in unborn children. There are Mozart records for pregnant women, milk products that beat steroids in chemical content, books entitled ‘Analytic Geometry for Toddlers’, and sperm banks boasting swimmer specimen from Hawking. Okay the last two are fake, but you get the point?

In a previous post, I mentioned a Grade Five (I can say Fifth Grade, but where’s the Filipino-ness in that?) Math textbook discussing fractions in a ridiculously confusing manner. I’m a college senior and I didn’t get the explanation the first time I read it, what chance could an eleven year-old have? Anyway, I found out who the authors were: Adela C. Villamayor and Amelia D. Celeridad – Wright. They were supposedly bigshots in the academic world and there’s a tradition, a kind of rite of passage, among academic bigshots to write a textbook at least once in your life/career. I’m sure that was their intention in writing Math for Life 5, if their real intention was for the benefit of young learners everywhere, they would’ve done a better job than the garbage they published. But I ramble.

Parents put a lot of effort into making sure that their children got what they deserve, as long as it fits their budgets. When asked why they’re sending their children to an advanced preschool classroom, they invoke the age-old parental excuse, “We just want the best for our children.” What about what their kids want? Did they even consider that? The world is a horrible place to live in and making sure that your kid is smart enough to figure this harsh fact at a very young age is the most cruel thing a parent can do to their child. I know I wouldn’t do that to my hypothetical future son/daughter. I saw this documentary in QTV once entitled, “Growing Up Gifted” and it was very informative about the topic. Unfortunately, it didn’t show the downside of being an insufferable know-it-all.

The world is a horrible place to live in and making sure that your kid is smart enough to figure this harsh fact at a very young age is the most cruel thing a parent can do to their child.

Firstly, decision making gets really hard because knowing a lot doesn’t always mean that you get to make the best decisions in life. If you’re deciding between two really close choices, you’d really twist your brains to figure out which one you really want. If you chose Option A, you know exactly what you’re getting and what you’re not getting. You’d feel fine about your choice but then there’s a part of you that’s going to kill your soul slowly for not knowing what it would be like had you chosen Option B.

Then there’s the endless paranoia that creeps into your waking thoughts about the things you know and how it affects yourself and other people in their daily lives. And when you’re in some sort of trouble, this paranoia is magnified into colossal proportions because you’ve figured out exactly what’s waiting for you on the other side before you can even open the door to face it. Ultimately, you’d get chronic episodes of severe depression because of this and you’d be technically disabled for the rest of the said episode’s duration.

Then there’s the constant irritation you’d feel towards the stupider people around you day in and day out. You’d feel annoyed at your boss for making a very stupid decision that you know would lead your officemates and yourself into some sort of predicament, and then afterwards you’d beat yourself up for it because there was absolutely nothing you could’ve done to stop it. Or you’d feel annoyed at your friends for always making the same mistakes over and over again despite the fact that you’ve already given them sound advice about it several times in the past. Or you’d feel annoyed at your family whenever they get the urge to do embarrassing stuff in public especially when you’re with them.

For the parents out there who want a genius baby, I suggest you reconsider your wishes. If you ask me, it’s better to have a hardworking child than a smart one. But who am I, right? I’m just a self-proclaimed genius who sees too far ahead for his own good.