This is an old video but it still makes me laugh so hard I think I might die.
Saw a bunch of these almost a year ago, but some of them disappeared. Kinda makes you wonder why most videos don’t show what they’re really saying (or say what they’re showing). This could probably spark a groundbreaking revolution in music video making and if you took that statement literally then I think you should be killed and fed to the poor.
Persephone Maewyn’s voice is incredibly angelic so continue reading my blog for more heavenly Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!
This happened almost a year ago but my Christmas present to myself this year is to tell you all about it so you can laugh at/with me.
One time, I was looking to spend some extra cash because my wallet was getting too overcrowded and I decided to go spend an afternoon in Mall of Asia. I forgot why I was there, I was probably meeting with a fellow animator or something, but what does it matter, because that’s not the point. The point is: I was sipping lattes in Starbucks smoking, cogitating and totally minding my own business when all of a sudden this really hot chick took the table next to mine. I knew I had to talk to her, so I took a deep breath and approached her. Then I asked her if I could borrow the newspaper on her table because I’m smooth like that. She said it wasn’t hers anyway so I took it and walked away. Yeah, that’s how I flirt. No wonder I’m single. I thought I might as well read the newspaper because I had it now anyway and all the while I beat myself up inside my head because of how stupid my approach was.
A few minutes later, she walked up to my table and told me, “Hi, I don’t know you but I want you to father my children.” I choked on my coffee. Then she put her hands impatiently on her hips and asked, “Well?”
I probably misheard the first part of the question because she wasn’t really asking to have sex with me. Yeah, she was just asking if we could exchange cigarettes. She was smoking a different brand, I was smoking a different brand, she wanted mine, so on and so forth. I gave her one of mine and she gave me one of hers and then I said, “I would’ve just given it to you if you asked for it.”
And oh my God, she looked back at me, gave me the cutest smile I have ever seen in my life and then I died. The end.
I mean, who does that? Was she into me? Who asks to exchange cigarettes with a total stranger, that is, of course, if she wasn’t the least bit interested in me in the first place? Oh well. I’m only like this because half my friends and relatives are asking/pressuring me about marriage. I’m 22 years old ! What the hell, right?
My grandmother asked me when I was planning to get married. Then she proceeded to tell me about how one of the younger guys in the community (he’s 19) is married with kids now. She was all, “Look at Ace, he’s got a wife now,” and I was all “Yeah? Well, I have a future.”
Then two of my friends became a couple and some of my other friends told me I’m getting left behind. I told them, “I don’t think having a girlfriend means moving forward in life. Look at you, you’ve been with your boyfriend for almost a decade and you’re more miserable than I am.”
I’m single, yes, but I secretly don’t want to be single but I also secretly don’t want to be in a relationship. It’s like a chapel inside a hospital. The place saves lives but it makes space for the possibility that sometimes, it can’t. I know, it’s a horrible analogy but it’s the closest one I could think of.
For the record, I am not going to get married until I reach the ripe old age of 30 and I’m a millionaire. So next time you feel like asking me, why don’t you go f*cking die in a hole.
Have you ever seen ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ by Al Gore? One of my professors back in film school made me watch it and I have to admit it was pretty convincing. Yeah, if you’re a stupid narrow-minded idiot who jumps at conclusions based on second-hand information! Ha!
Last November, the UK’s top climate research facility, the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit was breached by an unknown identity where tons of information including e-mails and documents were leaked onto the Internet exposing possible corruption of AGW (Anthropogenic Global Warming) data. Apparently, the earth is not warming up. It’s actually cooling down and so the brilliant scientists at CRU decided to do a little “trick” to meddle with the findings a little bit in order to maintain the current global warming hysteria.
Excerpt from one of the e-mails: “I’ve just completed Mike’s Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (ie from 1981 onwards) amd from 1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline.”
Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that humans and their CO2 emissions are not causing climate change, therefore the whole idea of AGW is a massive lie. Here’s the thing: as far as I’m concerned, climate change is a natural phenomenon. In case you haven’t noticed, the climate is always changing and therefore reducing our carbon footprint because of it is big bag of bullshit. So why do the Western overlords want the whole world to believe this whole ‘man-made’ global warming agenda? And how the hell does this issue affect ordinary people like you and I?
There’s a lot of possible motives, actually, although I don’t want to discuss those. I only want to discuss why this issue matters (if at all) to us.
Firstly, the people who live in highly developed countries, i.e. the First World, all seem to advocate AGW and the ‘going green’ movement. A lot of corporations have invested millions in reducing their carbon emissions and an entire industry was built around it. In fact, these same countries, with the help of the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), have restricted the less developed countries of the world to use industries which might worsen global warming. In simpler terms, the First World is preventing the Third World from achieving any industrialization and progress all for the sake of environmental awareness.
Well, I’m being unfair. The First World isn’t really preventing progress in the Third World. In fact, they’re all for it, I think. That’s why they want these poor countries to use renewable sources of energy to fuel their operations instead. The cruelty arises from the fact that renewable energy like solar and wind power are very expensive. So basically, they’re telling dirt-poor people that they can’t have electricity unless they buy expensive and unreliable technology. So they’re not 100% cruel. They’re probably just 90% cruel. You know what, thinking about how people in Africa are dying in hospitals because medical equipment cannot function without electricity, I think it’s more like 98% cruel. So yeah.
Secondly, I just hate the fact that science have been corrupted by politics to the extent that they’ve resorted to falsifying, modifying and generally manipulating observed data. Science is the only thing I believe in and now I’m finding out it does not really transcend politics. It’s just so disillusioning. Anyway, moving on…
I’m not saying you guys should now start “lootin’ and pollutin’” (obscure cartoon reference ftw) just because global warming is a hoax. We should still take care of our environment. All I’m saying is that we shouldn’t hinder other people’s lives just because a bunch of whales or polar bears are dying. Last time I checked, human life is more valuable than any of those endangered species combined.
In conclusion, global warming is real. It happens. The earth heats up. It’s all natural. But thinking that humans are behind it and that we should then let the rest of the world live a Stone Age-esque existence because of this belief means you’re a Nazi and you deserve a horrible, painful and slow death. Not convinced? Google “climategate”.
I wonder how Richard Gutierrez, Mr. I’m-the-Philippine-Environmental-Champion, would comment about this. Meh, what does it matter? He’s just a pretty face reading from an idiot board.
AGW is not cool, but you definitely are, so learn more facts first before making any judgment, and continue reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!
Some guy replaced all the sound effects in Half-Life 2 with his own voiced sound effects. Some of the sounds are hilarious like “pew pew pew” and “vrooom” and “bang bang” and “fwooosh” and “clank” and “bzzt” and so many more. I’m happy somebody some where in the world has way more free time than myself to create something as funnily useless as this. God bless the world.
I haven’t seen Cinema in a long time and I was excited about going to Marj’s shoot, helping out and everything like old times. But things have clearly changed. Although I’m sure I’ll continue being friends with some of them, I don’t think I’ll ever work with any of them again.
I didn’t bug anybody during the shoot. I did what I was supposed to do as part of the production design team. I stayed out of the way on things I don’t know anything about. That was the start. My mood changed on the opening billboard shot. Everything was going well then we took a short break. Jed approached me about the problem with the Barangay permit we were talking about earlier, and I volunteered to help her. Next thing I knew, Razor-edge Redge was yelling my name across the set and accusing me of being a cause of delay. My mind went, “Motherfucker.” Well, she was the Assistant Director, so I understand it’s her responsibility to be annoying but she’s just so exceptionally good at it. I know it’s very unfair to judge her because she’s probably tired from being an asshole on other shoots so I just reminded myself that I was there to help Marj and that Redge was just the occasional bitch you have to deal with maturely sometimes, so I didn’t mind it and went back to work with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.
Then, I remembered I have to tell my mother I won’t be coming home that night because the shoot will extend up to early next morning. Unfortunately, my phone’s battery was dead so I had to find a charger. I already found a place where I could charge up. At the back of the set, there was a socket where another crew member’s phone was plugged. That was 5:30pm. I went back there and unplugged it at 8:45pm honestly thinking that its battery is probably full now, after all it’s been more than three hours. So I happily charged my phone so I can finally check messages and send a text to my mother. Two minutes later, I came back to the socket only to find that my phone had been kicked out and the other phone was plugged in again. I didn’t know the name of the motherfucker who owned the Motorola phone. I just know that he’s the asshole taking stills for the shoot. But he topped up the thrilling events of my night so A.D. Redge, I respectfully ask you to eat your fucking heart out.
Gosh, I wonder how difficult it is to carry around a clipboard and yell orders at everyone as opposed to, say, carry a sixty-kilo wooden cabinet up two flights of stairs!
Several sequences and takes later, PMS-Mode Assistant Director Redge wasn’t about to let the asswipe who took still photographs out-bitch her, so she decided to snap at me again. I admit, last time was totally my fault. I shouldn’t have helped Jed. I mean, gosh, why would I try to be helpful in a night full of stressful work? Why wasn’t I following Miss Redge’s exemplary grace and just be a bitch about it? I’m sure showing the hard working people around you how much you don’t appreciate them helps out a lot to boost their morale. We were doing the dining room scene and I snuck in quietly from the back to catch a glimpse of the climactic drama. Suddenly, Redge yelled angrily/normally at me, “GID, WAG KA GAGALAW!”. If I had a burning cigarette at hand, I swear I would’ve flicked it angrily/normally at her.
After that, I just pretty much stayed out of everyone’s way. I wouldn’t want to give Troll Queen Regina Regla a reason to find more faults. I was so good at what I was doing that when I was ordered to do something, I can casually say, “No.” But don’t worry, I wasn’t wasting any of the shoot’s budget. I didn’t take anything from the set after Redge have clearly showed me I’m dead weight.
I didn’t make a scene at the shoot because it was Marj’s shoot and I know she worked hard for it. The least I could do was show her respect and refrain from adding more worries to her already insurmountable level of stress. Besides, my role wasn’t exactly that big. I’m just part of the production design team, a crew from the art department, an anonymous cog. Compared to, say for example, the Assistant Director, my part is definitely trivial. What could I possibly contribute to the shoot except do heavy lifting and other manual labor? And what is the Assistant Director’s role? Let’s see, he or she helps out the director. Something that nobody else can do. Gosh, I wonder how difficult it is to carry around a clipboard and yell orders at everyone as opposed to, say, carry a sixty-kilo wooden cabinet up two flights of stairs!
I’m so glad I attended the shoot.