Learning the Game: The Xia Dynasty (Part III)

December 1963 BCE – Nu Wa confers her blessings upon Banpo.

39 winters have passed since the art of farming has graced us with better meals and sturdier clothes. Now, the people of Banpo grow restless. Crime and disease plague the streets and Liao Taizu is well aware of the problems. Meeting up with the village council, they have decided to call upon the Ancestors for help. They called upon Cai Yun, the village diviner, to pray and pay homages to the Creator Goddess, Nu Wa, who arrived in Banpo by December 1963 BCE.

The Goddess taught Liao Taizu music played on bamboo instruments and our leader opened Banpo’s very first Music School on the same month. Music now plays constantly on the Market Square as musicians perform songs taught to them by the Creator Goddess. 

Nu Wa also blessed clay pits and their clay was fashioned into beautiful ceramics in the kilns that Liao Taizu built. She blessed the Inspector’s Tower and showed the people a better way of building it. She also blessed the village’s Hunter’s Tents, making it so that the hunter’s arrows always find its prey.

Travelers from the East brought with them new knowledge about the many benefits of plants and herbs that abound in the woods near the village. They then opened a new Herbalist’s Stall in the village and provide herbal remedies to the many ailments of the citizens.

Learning the Game: The Xia Dynasty (Part II)

We’re back in ancient China, peeps for another episode of Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom’s tutorial missions. This time we’re going to learn about how to farm for sustainability in a mission we’ll call “Seeds of Civilization.” Enjoy!

Welcome back to the village of Banpo!

Several generations have passed and the village that your people founded along the banks of the Wei River has prospered. There is a renewed sense of excitement in the town today. Word has just arrived of a nutritious new food source — millet. As a highly respected village elder, you are needed to plan the establishment of farms where millet can be grown to supplement the diet. Hemp farms can also be built. The fibres from the hemp plant have many uses, not the least of which is for durable garments.

Learning the Game: The Xia Dynasty (Part I)

This is probably going to be like a walkthrough for the game and you can use it as that.

I made up a fictional Chinese name for myself in the game and it’s Liao Taizu and his zodiac animal is the Serpent.

Begin your journey into ancient China here, with these simple tutorial missions. It is here, in the time of the prehistoric Xia Dynasty, that our people first learned to work the land for sustenance and shelter. To prevent stumbles later, travel now down the path of the Xia. Listen closely, and learn all that our venerated ancestors have to teach us…

Follow Liao Taizu as he and his descendants witness the birth of the Middle Kingdom!

Hit the jump for detailed info.

Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom

So recently, I’ve unearthed an old (from 2004) PC game of mine called “Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom” from Impression and Breakaway Games. It’s a city-building game similar to Sim City. I’ve played other city-building games before from the same companies and they’re really pretty awesome so I want to share this with you.

Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom (Emperor:ROTMK) is set in ancient China. The histories are pretty accurate so you learn geeky bits from ancient Chinese history if, you know, you’re into that sort of stuff. Me? You bet I’m into that.

The game starts off at 2038 BCE during the very early beginning of the Xia Dynasty. These parts are the tutorial parts so I just breeze through them easily. The next few posts will be about my adventures at learning Chinese history! Let’s go!

P.S. If you want to check the game out, click here. It’s an old school game, so don’t expect too much on the graphics department but it’s still one of the best games ever!

I Like: Total Eclipse of the Heart

This is an old video but it still makes me laugh so hard I think I might die.

Saw a bunch of these almost a year ago, but some of them disappeared. Kinda makes you wonder why most videos don’t show what they’re really saying (or say what they’re showing). This could probably spark a groundbreaking revolution in music video making and if you took that statement literally then I think you should be killed and fed to the poor.

Persephone Maewyn’s voice is incredibly angelic so continue reading my blog for more heavenly Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

The Hangman

This is a poem by Maurice Ogden that really spoke to me:

THE HANGMAN

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame,
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And he built his frame on the courthouse square.

The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide,
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.

And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime,
The Hangman judged with the yellow twist
Of knotted hemp in his busy fist.

Smash It Up Quickly!: Porn Detection Device

More reason to stop browsing p0rn while you’re at work: Introducing Paraben’s new device, the Porn Detection Stick.

What does it do?

Let’s see. It’s a USB drive with the words “Porn Detection Stick” written on its side, so it’s probably NOT for detecting p0rn. Go ahead, continue looking at those nude pictures – I got your back on this.

Paraben’s Porn Detection Stick is a robust illicit image detection device designed to protect your family, business or organization.

Big Brother employers are probably the worst types of employers there are, but imagine having someone at home use this on your computer. There goes my Best Sunday School Teacher Award. Stupid Bang Bus pictures accidentally copy-pasting themselves into an inconspicously hidden folder named Rocket Powered Stuff! IT WAS FOR RESEARCH, MOM!

It’s very effective so you better be careful with those key-“strokes” and keep on reading my blog for more Rocket Powered Stuff from around the world!

Crazy Internet Sensation Fugitive Taunts Police, Moves Me to Tears

Remember that time when I idolized the nevernude who started a dance craze at the Sasquatch Music Festival? Me neither. Anyway, I’ve got a new idol now and his name is Craig ‘Lazie’ Lynch. He’s an escaped British prisoner who’s on the run from the authorities. So why do the hell do I idolize him?

You see, I recently removed myself from Facebook because I value my personal privacy and also because I failed to find a good reason to stay (apologies to my Mafiosos). But if we’re thinking about a good reason to be on Facebook, posting pictures of yourself taunting police officers to come and find you while you’re a fugitive escaping the law would probably be the last thing anybody would come up with, right? Wrong.

If any of you was doubtin my freedom. Here’s proof. How the fuck could I get my Ahands on a bird like this in jail. ha ha.   -Lazie

So yeah, Lazie Lynch decided to create a Facebook fanpage about him being a fugitive, posting photographs and updating his status mainly to irk the British Constabulary. Talk about balls.

He’s an escaped burglar who’s daring enough to play around with British Police ire. If that’s not Rocket Powered, I don’t know what is. I definitely want to be like him some day. Oh, wait.

EDIT: He’s been caught. F my life. His Facebook page has also disappeared.